physically? im here, but mentally im in a renaissance painting wearing a silk dress and looking wistfully into the distance
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Kuromaya BodyGuard Au pt2
The concept of love was something that Claudine had trouble truly understanding. Of course she loved her family, and in a way loved her kingdom, but loving another person was a different matter.
Did she love her sword and passion for sword fighting? Of course. (If she could marry it she would) but that she knew was simply silly and impossible.
When Claudine had confessed her feelings for Maya, even then she was confused by her own emotions. Throughout her life the idea of dating and relationships with another had been at the bottom of her things to pay attention to. Unfortunately, a certain someone had taken all of that attention. As much as she felt embarrassed to admit, knowing why now.
When Claudine and Maya had revealed their feelings to each other, at first it was like a dream to the blonde. To be even closer than before, but then her bravado faded away and she suddenly realized something. She had never had a…romantic interest before.
Her life had revolved around learning to rule the kingdom and sharpen her skills. Of course, she wasn’t entirely in the dark. There had been countless royal families asking for her hand. While the geographic culture on this side of the kingdoms was commonly more traditional in their marriage vows, but that isn’t to say it was unheard of for two women to be married. But that wasn’t the issue that Claudine often circled back to. It was the fact that she was a royal. And Maya was not.
At times she found her stubbornness telling her “who cares. You must do what benefits your own happiness”, but her duty also was important to her. It was a question of which was more important to her that she found herself between.
For now, Claudine focused on the matters at hand - that being she was horrible at romance.
Did she love Maya? It was something like that.
After their unforgettable evening in the training yard Claudine wanted to become closer to the other girl. But they couldn’t exactly be open about it. To others they were still a princess and her bodyguard. And at times, they was all they seemed to be. Maya was still stiff and rigid in protecting Claudine and her expression was the ever unchanging emotion of cool and collected.
But there were times that Claudine saw through that. Often she would glance at Maya and they would make brief eye contact. Unlike before, when Maya would look away, she now held onto the gaze and a small smile fell upon her face. Claudine couldn’t help to smile back with a blush. That was one thing she grew to truly appreciate. To see Maya’s rare smiles. It made her heart thump and her cheeks feel warm. It was the small things that made all the difference in their relationship.
Now when they sparred if Claudine had found herself on the ground Mayas hand as usual was stuck out to help her up, but when Claudine reached up to grab it and pull herself up, she was somewhat pulled towards Maya and their clasped hands would linger. Maya would flash her a smirk, but behind it Claudine would see something else. Something that made her breath hitch and her smile found impossible to avoid.
Sometimes their hands would brush together when walking, another times Maya would stand closer to Claudine than before. At night she would strictly check the windows before wishing Claudine a respectful goodnight.
This was what bothered Claudine most. Was she not doing enough? Did she have to make the first move? Throughout her life she had been taught to be assertive and aggressive by her mother and father. Achieve whatever she desires. To be a successful person and to lead others with respect. Unfortunately those skills seemed to fall away when Maya was involved. At night she embarrassingly hoped for something more. A hug…a kiss? That was what she wanted.
One night, she found the resolve to do such a thing.
Maya tested the last window one more time before becoming satisfied with its state.
“It has been months since the…attempt”. Claudine said carefully, sitting on the side of her bed.”I doubt the windows need checking every night. Besides, I can protect myself.” She said the last part rather proudly.
Maya frowned for moment, but it melted into a light smile.“Of course, but it doesn’t hurt to check.”
The two stood in the room for a few quiet moments and Claudine shifted uncomfortably, trying to gather up the courage to say what she wanted to say but Maya beat her to it, bowing and wishing a goodnight.
“Wait!”
Maya stopped in her tracks just before reaching the door, and looked over her shoulder, confusion evident on her face.
Claudine quickly stood and made her way over and as she grew closer Maya turned to face her.
“What is-”
She was stopped short when Claudine grabbed the front of her tunic and pulled her down to meet her lips with hers. The kiss was short, but luckily Claudine managed to land it right. It felt like sparks, and when she pulled away she could still be the ghost of the feeling.
Maya on the other hand looked thoroughly surprised and tried to hold back the grin on her face.
“You could have asked.” Maya teased before bringing up a hand to Claudine’s blushed cheek.
Claudine was about to retort before Maya came forward and pressed a kiss to her forehead. It lingered for a moment before she pulled away, looking at Claudine with eyes that made her feel like the rest of the world has disappeared.
“Goodnight my Claudine.”
After that night, each night ended with a small kiss and Claudine found better than the last. Each time that Maya retreated to her room and the door clicked a uncontrollable smile appeared on her face and Claudine tried to control her emotions. Maya was getting the better of her, but maybe it wasn’t all so bad.
Their relationship had flourished since then and a week had passed by before Claudine’s presence was called to her Mother and Father.
She stepped into the great hall and stood in front of her parents as they looked at her from their large intricate wooden chairs that sat upon cobblestone steps. The windows behind them shone with a midday light.
“Mother, Father.” Claudine said, coming to a stop with Maya right beside her.
Claudine’s mother was a strict woman who demanded respect, but was fair enough to deserve it. She was the one who helped support Claudine in her passion and supported in her independence as a strong woman. Her father on the other hand was much more…relaxed. While a good ruler and supporting in her ways, he taught her to be more communicative and earn the respect of others. The two together though were certainly a force to be reckoned with.
“We have news!” The king said joyfully with a grin hidden beneath his thick blonde graying beard. Her mother on the other hand was a bit more stoic about explaining it.
“We have found a suitable wed for you in the kingdom of Than. Her name is princess Karen.”
Claudine couldn’t find the words to reply and instead said nothing, wide eyed and shocked. She glanced over a bit at Maya and saw no change in her expression but she knew the girl well enough to see the tensing of her jaw.
“She really is such an joyful soul. Quite beautiful and kind, wouldn’t you say dear?”
“Yes she is quite a respectable princess. I think the two of you could get along well.” She agreed.
The king looked back down at Claudine the grin on his face apparent. “Not only that, but the union of our two kingdoms would be greatly beneficial to us. What do you think?” He paused in question, eagerly waiting for her answer.
At first Claudine wasn’t sure. Well, that was wrong. She was sure of one thing and that was she didn’t want to be married off to someone she barely knew. She wanted…well she wanted to be with Maya. But she wasn’t sure if she had a choice.
“I see.” Was all she could say. The king seemed a bit disappointed by her lackluster reaction, but moved on nevertheless.
“You will be leaving tomorrow for the kingdom of Than to meet with her. Make sure you pack tonight and in the morning a carriage will be awaiting you.”
Claudine felt like her mouth was full of cotton, but managed to speak.
“Of course father.”
Then without another word walked out of the great hall with Maya close to her heels.
It was the least to say she was frustrated
“This is…”She almost seemed to charge up her words before growing frustrated and letting out a drawn out groan. ”I don’t want to marry some…woman from Thun!”
“Than.” Maya piped in
“Than!” Claudine stomped over to the window and let out a heavy breath. The room was quiet and the air was thick. Maya had yet to say or do anything to quell Claudine’s feelings and the blonde turned to look at her bodyguard in question.
“You…” She wasn’t exactly sure what to say. I’m sorry? I don’t want to marry this woman because I want to be with you? I have feelings for you that are impossible to not think about? Those were things that Claudine should have said, but she couldn’t. Was that too much? Did Maya feel the same way? Her doubt overcame her sense and so she went with the easiest option.
“I’m sorry.” She simply said. To others, Maya would have seemed perfectly emotionless and still, but Claudine could see it in her eyes. Something there that made her heart twist and her want to look away. This is what she hated most. Not being able to understand Maya’s emotions. “I don’t-”
“Do not apologize. This is your duty as our princess.”
The moment the words hit Claudine she tried to not look too hurt. Before she could say another word Maya turned and opened the door before stopping without turning. Claudine waited patiently hoping for something to be said that would stop the pain in her heart.
“I will see you at the carriage tomorrow.”
And with that and a click of the door, Claudine was left alone.
(I know it’s short but the second part will be coming. Probably before Christmas. Thanks for reading 👍)